You Shouldn't Have Worn That

You Shouldn’t Have Worn That

By: Sophie Consorti

    “Your skirt was too short, you didn’t scream loud enough, you didn’t protect yourself, you deserved it.” These are just a few of the countless examples rape victims are told. By blaming the victims of rape, America is teaching people that rape is not a big deal because it is not the perpetrator’s fault. When only 3 out of 100 rapists spend a day in jail women are taught to be aware of everything around them. Instead of teaching people the necessity of consent women are told to be paranoid of parking garages and nighttime. Rape survivors are more susceptible to mental illness and suicidal ideation. A short lesson on rape and consent could save women from years of pain and humiliation. Stigmatizing rape victims allows rapists to avoid blame, further harms victims, and causes the younger generation to get the wrong idea about consent.

Blaming a rape victim is just as outrageous as blaming somebody for their own murder. When the overwhelming majority of rape survivors never receive justice the younger generation learns that they can get away with this violent crime. Only 3% of rapists will spend a day or more in jail. That number is based on the 40% of the rapes that end up getting reported. Out of 100 rapists, ten get arrested, eight get prosecuted, and four get charged with a felony conviction. Unfortunately 60% of rape victims do not feel safe enough to report the crime.  Victims are told that it is their fault they were raped because of their clothing or how drunk they were. One out of six women have been victims of rape or attempted rape. 92% of homeless women have experienced physical or sexual violence in their lifetime. “…the sort of fashion sense on stage that surely invites rape at worst, disrespect at least.” — Liz Jones, Daily Mail columnist, writing about Rihanna. Women are too often criticized and looked down upon for their appearance. Even blamed for their rape if they wore something that society considers slutty or provocative. If someone was robbed nobody would ask if his or her television was visible from his or her window. To many women live in fear of what might happen if they venture out into the dark alone.

Men can walk home alone at night and not feel vulnerable or unsafe. Women on the other hand, carry pepper spray or hold their keys in between their fingers just in case. But even if women avoid going out at night or avoid mall parking garages they still will not be immune to rape. About two-thirds of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. 38% of rapists are friends or coworkers, 28% of rapes are committed by someone the victim intimately knows, and 7% of rapists are relatives. Over 50% of rape victims reported that they were raped within a mile of their home. Four out of then rapes take place at the victim’s home, two out of then rapes occur at a friends, relatives or neighbors house. Only one out of twelve rapes occur in a parking garage, should women be more paranoid when they are in their own home? Not only do rape survivors have to deal with the pain of his or her attack but also what happens afterwards.


It is often said that the aftermath of the rape is worse than the actual rape. Mental illness is often seen in victims after his/her attack. PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is seen in almost 1/3 of victims, and are 6.2 times more likely to develop PTSD than a woman who has never been raped. 33% of rape survivors said that she/he has seriously considered suicide. Women rape victims with PTSD are 13.4 times more likely to have a major alcohol problem and 26 times more likely to have a serious drug problem. Victims are concerned about people not believing he/she was raped and people finding out about their rape. 68% of victims are afraid about people outside of his or her family finding out about his or her assault. 

 Men are also victims of sexual abuse and rape. One out of ten rape victims are men, and one out of thirty-three men have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. That number is a lot lower than the women’s statistic (one out of six) but it is still an issue. Male victims are often told that they could not have been raped because they are men, for some reason people find this an acceptable thing to say to people who have been through a terrible tragedy. A male rape survivor admitted that his attacker said, “don’t worry, boys are supposed to like this.” Twenty five male rape victims held up signs showing what their attacker/people they told said to them. These photos are shocking and goes to show that America does not see men as vulnerable enough to be raped. (http://www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/male-survivors-of-sexual-assault-quoting-the-people-who-a). If high school health classes dedicated just one period to consent and what consent means students would have a better understanding of how to go about asking for consent.

   

Many students either don't know what consent actually is or don't understand how necessary consent is. In an experiment that I did I asked my classmates what situations are considered okay to use force in sexual intercourse and which situations are not. I was shocked by some of the results, which can be found in this spreadsheet. This goes to show that high school students don't understand consent and need to be educated about it. The experiment probably wasn't valid in some parts because the topic is often found humorous or laughable among my classmates. Some might have said yes because they thought it would be fun, but others probably said yes because they don't understand what consent actually is. Here is a video by Laci Green, a YouTube star whose goal is to educate people about sex, gender, and other issues. In this video she discusses the Steubenville rape case, where two boys raped a girl while she was unconscious while a lot of people watched. She discusses the story and how the media portrayed the rapists as poor souls who shouldn't have to serve one year in juvy for the crime. In fact, some media outlets said that they shouldn't have gotten prosecuted because of their social standing. Just showing this video to students would help them greatly, it defines what consent is and tells about when consent cannot be given. Overall today's younger society is clueless about consent and in order for them to recognize what's wrong they need to be taught what consent actually is.

Blaming rape victims leads to people not taking rape seriously, the rise in mental illness among victims and to rapists getting away with this vicious crime. Certain measures can be taken to prevent society getting the wrong idea about rape. It can also prevent society from getting the wrong idea about rape and consent. It is possible for all rapists to be convicted, but only if people speak up. Only society can change society’s ways.

Bibliography

"GET THE FACTS." Get the Facts. White Space Creative, 2010. Web. 25 Oct. 2014. <http://www.rccmsc.org/resources/get-the-facts.aspx>.

"Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network." Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. Federally Funded, n.d. Web. 27 Oct. 2014. <https://www.rainn.org/get-information>.